Last Call Review of draft-ietf-bfcpbis-rfc4583bis-26
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Reviewer: Pete Resnick
Review Date: 2018-10-18
IETF LC End Date: 2018-10-17
IESG Telechat date: 2018-10-25
Summary: Ready, but one issue with the IANA Considerations section.
I reviewed the diff with 4583. The changes were easily understandable and the improvements were obvious. Well done. No major issues at all. I think section 13 isn't as clear as it ought to be, but not a showstopper. A couple of nits noted.
Major issues: None.
13: I found this section confusing. You could just explain this interactively with IANA, as I suspect they will find it confusing too, but I'd suggest:
- Where you need to have IANA do something new, identify that to IANA as "IANA is requested to register...", replacing "This document defines" in 13.6.
- For the remainder, identify those with "IANA has registered...", replacing "This document defined" in 13.2 through 13.5. You can put a parenthetical note next to each one that says, "No new IANA action requested here"
This all gets cleaned up by the RFC Editor anyway, but the whole idea of the IANA Considerations is to make it clear what IANA needs to do, not format the section for what it should look like when published.
Finally, I don't see a need for the "contact firstname.lastname@example.org" bit. This is going to be a standards track document, and that is always the case for standards track documents.
- Table 1 contains "c-s", but it has not yet been explained. I would move it below the subsequent paragraph.
- In the paragraph that begins, "Endpoints compliant with [RFC4583]", the comma in the second sentence belongs after "present", not "client".
- In the section title, s/Attributes/Attribute