Last Call Review of draft-ietf-pce-iro-update-06
review-ietf-pce-iro-update-06-genart-lc-yee-2016-04-17-00

Request Review of draft-ietf-pce-iro-update
Requested rev. no specific revision (document currently at 07)
Type Last Call Review
Team General Area Review Team (Gen-ART) (genart)
Deadline 2016-03-29
Requested 2016-03-16
Draft last updated 2016-04-17
Completed reviews Genart Last Call review of -06 by Peter Yee (diff)
Opsdir Last Call review of -06 by Qin Wu (diff)
Assignment Reviewer Peter Yee
State Completed
Review review-ietf-pce-iro-update-06-genart-lc-yee-2016-04-17
Reviewed rev. 06 (document currently at 07)
Review result Ready with Nits
Review completed: 2016-04-17

Review
review-ietf-pce-iro-update-06-genart-lc-yee-2016-04-17

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Document: draft-ietf-pce-iro-update-06
Reviewer: Peter Yee
Review Date: Apr-17-2016
IETF LC End Date: Mar-29-2016
IESG Telechat date: Apr-21-2016

Summary: This draft is basically ready for publication as a Standards
Track RFC, but has some nits that should be fixed before publication.
[Ready with nits]

This specification documents the results of a survey regarding
implementation of the Include Route Object for PCEP and uses those results
to clarify the meaning of section 7.12 of RFC 5440 with updated text.

Major issues: None

Minor issues: None really

Page 5, Section 4, 1st paragraph, 2nd sentence: Are you sure that
confusing interpretation of the IRO ordering or the L bit doesn’t cause
any security issues?  I’m not PCEP savvy enough to know if mistakenly
sending information that should have gone strictly through a loose node
would disclose anything that the originator didn’t really wish any nodes
outside of the strict list to see.


Nits:

Page 3, first full paragraph: insert “an” before “IRO”.

Page 3, Section 2 title: insert “the” before “IRO”.

Page 3, Section 2, 3rd paragraph, 2nd sentence: insert “them” before the
second “as”.

Page 4, Section 2, 1st paragraph: append a colon to the end of the
paragraph.

Page 4, Section 2, indented bullet item: remove the hyphen and put the
remainder between double quotes, not single quotes.

Page 4, Section 2, 1st major bullet item, 1st sentence: insert “an” before
“IRO”.  

Page 4, Section 2, 1st major bullet item, 2nd sentence: change
“comprising” to “comprised”.  Insert “to” before “section”.

Page 4, Section 2, 2nd major bullet item, 1st sentence: insert “an” before
“IRO”.  Change the comma to a semicolon.

Page 4, Section 2, 2nd major bullet item, 3rd sentence: insert “the”
before “Loose”.

Page 4, Section 3, 2nd paragraph, 1st sentence: delete comma.

Page 4, Section 3, 2nd paragraph, 2nd sentence: change trailing space and
hyphen to a colon.

Page 4, Section 3, 1st bullet item: delete comma after “IRO”.  Insert
“the” before the last “IRO”.

Page 5, Section 3, 1st paragraph: insert “the” before “IRO”.

Page 5, Section 4, 1st paragraph, 1st sentence: insert “the” before “IRO”.