Last Call Review of draft-ietf-p2psip-sip-17

Request Review of draft-ietf-p2psip-sip
Requested rev. no specific revision (document currently at 21)
Type Last Call Review
Team General Area Review Team (Gen-ART) (genart)
Deadline 2016-04-06
Requested 2016-03-24
Authors Cullen Jennings, Bruce Lowekamp, Eric Rescorla, Salman Baset, Henning Schulzrinne, Thomas Schmidt
Draft last updated 2016-04-07
Completed reviews Genart Last Call review of -17 by Meral Shirazipour (diff)
Genart Telechat review of -18 by Meral Shirazipour (diff)
Opsdir Telechat review of -18 by Will LIU (diff)
Assignment Reviewer Meral Shirazipour
State Completed
Review review-ietf-p2psip-sip-17-genart-lc-shirazipour-2016-04-07
Reviewed rev. 17 (document currently at 21)
Review result Ready with Nits
Review completed: 2016-04-07


I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area Review Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed by the IESG for the IETF Chair.  Please treat these comments just like any other last call comments.


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Document:  draft-ietf-p2psip-sip-17

Reviewer: Meral Shirazipour

Review Date: 2016-04-06

IETF LC End Date:  2016-04-06

IESG Telechat date: 2016-04-21




This draft is ready to be published as Standards Track RFC but I have some comments.


Major issues:


Minor issues:


Nits/editorial comments:

-[Page 1] Abstract: some suggestions for clarity:

-After "(RELOAD)" it would be clearer to add [rfc6940].


-"the AppAttach method"---->"the RELOAD AppAttach method"


I find the first paragraph of the Introduction more suitable for abstract text.

The abstract should clarify which protocols are being extended here SIP, RELOAD, both.



-[Page 4], "ICE" to be spelled out at first use.


-[Page 7], "PDU" to be spelled out at first use.


-[Page 12], "either SIP scheme"--->"either SIP schemes"

-[Page 13], "Uris"---->"URIs"

-[Page 13], "gr URI"--->"  "gr" URI  "

-[Page 18], ietf-p2psip-share ref to be updated to latest


Best Regards,



Meral Shirazipour