Last Call Review of draft-ietf-dots-use-cases-23
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Reviewer: Elwyn Davies
Review Date: 2020-06-10
IETF LC End Date: 2020-06-11
IESG Telechat date: Not scheduled for a telechat
Ready wih some minor nits.
s1, para 1: Just a thought: might be worth adding to the end of this para: "and increase the time for deployment in a situation where speed is often of the essence".
s1, last para: Suggest adding in reference to DOTS requirements doc which is referred to in s2:
This document provides sample use cases that provided input for the
design of the DOTS protocols [RFC8782][RFC8783].
This document provides sample use cases that motivated the requirements
for the DOTS protocols [RFC8612] and provided input for the design of
those protocols [RFC8782][RFC8783].
s2: For more logical ordering, move the definition of DDos Mitigation Service Provider after definition of DDoS Mitigation Service.
s2, DDoS Mitigation Service:
Service subscriptions usually
involve Service Level Agreement (SLA) that have to be met.
Each service subscription usually
involves a Service Level Agreement (SLA) that has to be met.
s3.1, para 1: The abbreviation ITP has already been defined so you shouldn't have a redefinition here.
s3.1, para 7: s/thought different/though different/
s3.1, 2nd set of bullets, that are below Fig 1: This woud be more elegant using (a), (b), etc as the bullet labels.
s3.1: Comment (not being familiar with the DOTS proposals): The text indicates that the ITP mitigation effort is an all or nothing buisness. Is this always the case or could the client request or the server provide a proportional response rather than an all or nothing response?
s3.2, last sentence of 2nd para after Fig 2: s/These exact/The exact/
s3.3, para 2: s/various information/various sets of information/
s3.3, para after Figure 4: s/monitor various network traffic/monitor various aspects of the network traffic/.
s3.3, 2nd para after Figure 4: s/it's/it is/
s3.3, last five paras: Calling out a web interface specifically is overly specific. Suggest adding 'for example'in at least one case or changing it to 'user interface'.
s3.3, first para on page 11:
to infer the DDoS Mitigation to elaborate and coordinate.
to infer, elaborate and coordinate the appropriate DDoS Mitigation.
s3.3, 3rd and subsequent paras on page 11: The orchestrator appears to change from one DOTS server to a plurality at this point. Please make it clear whether there is one or many. If only one, then s/The orchestrator DOTS servers returns this information back/The orchestrator DOTS server returns this information/ and s/servers/server/ subsequently.
s3.3, last para s/like requesting/such as requesting/
s7: This is an informational document and, as such, cannot have normative references. Please combine all references into one refererences section.