Last Call Review of draft-ietf-ccamp-rwa-info-22
review-ietf-ccamp-rwa-info-22-genart-lc-housley-2014-11-09-00

Request Review of draft-ietf-ccamp-rwa-info
Requested rev. no specific revision (document currently at 24)
Type Last Call Review
Team General Area Review Team (Gen-ART) (genart)
Deadline 2014-11-27
Requested 2014-11-06
Authors Young Lee, Greg Bernstein, Dan Li, Wataru Imajuku
Draft last updated 2014-11-09
Completed reviews Genart Last Call review of -22 by Russ Housley (diff)
Genart Telechat review of -23 by Russ Housley (diff)
Assignment Reviewer Russ Housley
State Completed
Review review-ietf-ccamp-rwa-info-22-genart-lc-housley-2014-11-09
Reviewed rev. 22 (document currently at 24)
Review result Almost Ready
Review completed: 2014-11-09

Review
review-ietf-ccamp-rwa-info-22-genart-lc-housley-2014-11-09

I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. For background on
Gen-ART, please see the FAQ at
<

http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>.

Please resolve these comments along with any other Last Call comments
you may receive.

Document: draft-ietf-ccamp-rwa-info-22
Reviewer: Russ Housley
Review Date: 2014-11-09
IETF LC End Date: 2014-11-27
IESG Telechat date: unknown

Summary: Almost ready; a few minor things to clear up.

Major Concerns:

None.

Minor Concerns:

In section 3, please add a sentence or two that explains switching
subsystem and line subsystem.  The definitions might be best appear in
Section 2.  I checked in RFC 6163, but I did not find a description of
these terms there.  

Other Comments:

Section 1 begins with:

   The purpose of the following information model for WSONs ... 

In my opinion, it would be better to say something like:

   The purpose of the WSONs information model described in this
   document ...

Likewise, in section 3, it says:

   The following WSON RWA information model ...

In my opinion, it would be better to say something like:

   The WSON RWA information model in this document ...

In section 5.1, 3rd paragraph, it says:

   ... Since not all input ports
   can necessarily reach each resource block, the model starts with a
   resource pool input matrix RI(i,p) = {0,1} whether input port i can
   reach potentially reach resource block p.

s/reach potentially reach/potentially reach/