Last Call Review of draft-ietf-6lo-backbone-router-14

Request Review of draft-ietf-6lo-backbone-router
Requested rev. no specific revision (document currently at 20)
Type Last Call Review
Team General Area Review Team (Gen-ART) (genart)
Deadline 2020-02-06
Requested 2020-01-23
Authors Pascal Thubert, Charles Perkins, Eric Levy-Abegnoli
Draft last updated 2020-02-06
Completed reviews Iotdir Last Call review of -13 by Dominique Barthel (diff)
Genart Last Call review of -14 by Elwyn Davies (diff)
Tsvart Last Call review of -13 by Kyle Rose (diff)
Assignment Reviewer Elwyn Davies
State Completed
Review review-ietf-6lo-backbone-router-14-genart-lc-davies-2020-02-06
Posted at
Reviewed rev. 14 (document currently at 20)
Review result Ready with Nits
Review completed: 2020-02-06


I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area
Review Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed
by the IESG for the IETF Chair.  Please treat these comments just
like any other last call comments.

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Document: draft-ietf-6lo-backbone-router-14
Reviewer: Elwyn Davies
Review Date: 2020-02-06
IETF LC End Date: 2020-02-06
IESG Telechat date: Not scheduled for a telechat
Summary: Ready with nits.
Major issues:

Minor issues:

Nits/editorial comments:
General: s/i.e. /i.e., / (4 places), s/e.g. /e.g.,/ (2 places)

Abbreviations: The definition of abbreviations in this document is inconistent. There is a list of abbreviations but it is not complete; many abbreviations are introduced in the text in the usual way and there are some that are not expanded. Please be consistent - a complete list would be helpful, especially as some are used before the abbreviations section.

References to Neighbor Solicitation/Advertisement messages: The formats NS(xxxx) and NA(xxxx) are used to refer to various NS/NA messages. Please add an explanation of this convention and a definition of the various messages referred to.

Use of Layer-2 and Layer-3:  These terms are not normally  hyphenated.
s1: Term STA used for a 'node': Please expand this abbreviation and possibly explain why it is used (I am unclear how it is derived).

s1, para 5: s/Like/In the same way as/

s1, para 5: ID is not a well-known abbreviation - please expand on first use.

s1, para 9: Need to expand MAC.

s2.2, "Sleeping Proxy": It might be useful to add in " which might be in a sleep state in a low power network".

s2.2, "Routing Proxy": Need to expand TLLA.

s3, para 1: s/The next/The following/

s3, 2nd set of bullets, bullet #2: s/This includes participating to the
      solicited-node multicast address/This includes responding to messages addressed tothe
      solicited-node multicast address/

s3, 2nd set of bullets, bullet #3: Expand NUD on first use (currently expanded twice in sss6 and 8).

s3.1: Expand SLLAO on first use.

s3.3, para at bottom of page 13 just before Figure 5: s/is a transmitted as a multicast/is transmitted as a multicast /

s3.3, last para: s/suggests using RPL/suggests using the RPL routing protocol/

s3.4, last para: s/details/detail/

s3.5, para 1: s/as silently ignored./are silently ignored./

s4, last para: s/the MTU MUST have a same value/the MTU MUST have the same value/

s5, para 2: s/It results that a 6LBR MUST be capable of maintaining a state/Consequently a 6LBR MUST be capable of maintaining state/

s5, para 3: s/ which may be avoided of/ which may be avoided if/

s5, para 5: Expand TLLAO on first use.

s9: It would be useful to add a forward ref to s12 where the value of TENTATIVE_DURATION is defined.

s9.1: Remove empty second bullet.

Titles of ss9.1, 9.2 and 9.3: I Think these should be "Operations on...."

s9.2, 1st bullet: s/small timer/timer with a short setting/.  Is it possible to recommend any values here or indicate how to assign a suitable value?

ss9.2, 9.3: It would be useful to add a forward ref to s12 where the value of STALE_DURATION is defined.