Last Call Review of draft-bradner-rfc3979bis-08
review-bradner-rfc3979bis-08-genart-lc-carpenter-2016-03-27-00

Request Review of draft-bradner-rfc3979bis
Requested rev. no specific revision (document currently at 13)
Type Last Call Review
Team General Area Review Team (Gen-ART) (genart)
Deadline 2016-04-30
Requested 2016-03-24
Authors Scott Bradner, Jorge Contreras
Draft last updated 2016-03-27
Completed reviews Genart Last Call review of -08 by Brian Carpenter (diff)
Rtgdir Last Call review of -10 by Stewart Bryant (diff)
Genart Last Call review of -11 by Brian Carpenter (diff)
Assignment Reviewer Brian Carpenter
State Completed
Review review-bradner-rfc3979bis-08-genart-lc-carpenter-2016-03-27
Reviewed rev. 08 (document currently at 13)
Review result Almost Ready
Review completed: 2016-03-27

Review
review-bradner-rfc3979bis-08-genart-lc-carpenter-2016-03-27

I am the assigned Gen-ART reviewer for this draft. The General Area
Review Team (Gen-ART) reviews all IETF documents being processed
by the IESG for the IETF Chair.  Please treat these comments just
like any other last call comments.

For more information, please see the FAQ at
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http://wiki.tools.ietf.org/area/gen/trac/wiki/GenArtfaq>.

Document: draft-bradner-rfc3979bis-08.txt
Reviewer: Brian Carpenter
Review Date: 2016-03-27
IETF LC End Date: 2016-04-30
IESG Telechat date:

Summary: Almost ready
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Comment:
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I've been tracking this draft since the start and I'm very supportive of it.

Major issues:
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> 6. Failure to Disclose

This paragraph has been over-pruned; it now makes no sense:

>   In addition to any remedies the IESG may consider other actions. See
>   [RFC6701] for details.

Do you mean:

   In addition to any remedies available outside the IETF, the IESG may
   consider other actions. See [RFC6701] for details.

I'm made a little nervous by the fact that RFC 6701 is Informational,
and the text you have removed would give the IESG specific authority (by BCP)
to impose penalties. So I think you have actually pruned too much. I would
prefer that authority to be included, so maybe:

   In addition to any remedies available outside the IETF, the IESG	 		
   may, when it in good faith concludes that such a violation has	 		
   occurred, impose penalties including, but not limited to, suspending	 		
   the posting/participation rights of the offending individual,	 		
   suspending the posting/participation rights of other individuals	 		
   employed by the same company as the offending individual, amending,	 		
   withdrawing or superseding the relevant IETF Documents, and publicly	 		
   announcing the facts surrounding such violation, including the name	 		
   of the offending individual and his or her employer or sponsor. See	 		
   [RFC6701] for details.

Minor Issues:
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See ietf at ietf.org discussion on the definition of a Contribution.

Nit:
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http: should be https: (3 times)